Oh dear

The soundtrack of the last few days is Brandi Carlile, again. I rediscovered her and I adore her voice. And as a bonus coincidence, I found her song in Grey's Anatomy. It's back and I'm fascinated again.

Feeling small. Walking around feeling so small nobody sees you. Feeling their feet on your face. Feeling useless and choked with silence. Worth nothing.

The moments we're scared show us how we don't really stop to think about life as we should. Panic shows the best and worst in us.

I'm a bit random tonight but want so much to write it all away. Maybe it's this writing in English that is bothering me. Or the speed of the ideas in my head.

I remembered people that know me, see me, understand me and value both strengths and weaknesses. It's amazing to feel like yourself, with both good and bad and feel appreciated for both. Be valued. The world around us pressures us, minimizes us, tries to make us smaller. It's because we're too many, I guess.
And that's why we try to be bigger. Try to stand out. Try to "succeed".

What I believe in most is not the ovations of the crowd, but the appreciation of individuals you changed by being true to yourself, by being honest and devoted.

And I have this question going around in my head:
"What is the place where you feel big?"

Thank you, dear, for showing me how to smile your troubles away. Thank you for not letting go. Thank you for making me feel useful. Thank you for saying the right words. And thank you, dear, for growing together with me. My best lessons I've learned from you.

A bunch of "Thank you"s for people that changed me every day for a while now.

So, dear, what is the place where you feel big?