Welcome to wherever you are

*sigur incalc vreo regula a bloggingului cu postul asta. Va fi luung si doar despre mine :)

Zilele astea au fost despre mine. Si vreau sa pastrez aici momentul asta. Just for me!
Fara prea multe cuvinte proprii, doar melodii, imagini, filme, care vorbesc mai bine ca mine uneori.




Jason Mraz - "A beautifull mess"

You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man then lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy, humble but you’re greedy
And based on your body language and shorty cursive I’ve been reading
You’re style is quite selective though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don’t mind my nerve you can call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these words
I’m paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

But it’s a beautiful mess, yes it is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are
Here we are

We're still here

And it’s a beautiful mess, yes it is
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

Enchanted - nici un film pentru fete nu e mai comic decat atunci cand il vezi cu cea mai buna prietena.
Australia - "Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be" and yet such a funny movie. Amazing
Cidade de Deus - you stop breathing for 2 hours
The curious case of Benjamin Button - Some people...like to live in a story.
For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

- Cate sanse ai sa faci ceea ce e bine?
- Nenumarate, ai sa vezi!

A beautiful mess

Heart

Asta e cuvantul care imi vine in minte de dimineata. M-am trezit cu o neliniste pozitiva pe care o am de cateva zile. Si aseara, inainte sa adorm, ma gandeam cate stari si ganduri si "a-ha-uri" am avut in doar 2-3 zile. Si cate s-au schimbat cumva in mine.

Jason Mraz e un tip asa simpatic si exprima asa bine multe dintre lucrurile pe care le simt. Melodia din titlu e una dintre ele. Sau "Please don't tell her", "The Remedy". In ceea ce priveste alte melodii care imi suna in cap zilele astea, nu credeam sa spun asta vreodata, dar unele sunt din selectia nationala pentru Eurovision. Don't ask :)

Si de ce heart?
Pentru ca, in final, it's all that matters. Conteaza ce simti, cum te simti tu cu tine, conteaza fapte si mai putin cuvinte. Conteaza cine e acolo cand nu ceri, cine e acolo cand ai nevoie fara sa te intrebe "de ce", conteaza ce e in sufletul tau si numai tu stii, pana la urma. Si toate lucrurile pe care le facem, toate calatoriile, proiectele, planurile, obiectivele mai mult sau mai putin mari, toate au ca finalitate un sentiment. Conteaza ce simti.

Ma gandeam zilele astea ca oamenii nu mai construiesc, nu mai au rabdare sa se descopere, pe ei si pe altii, sa faca un compromis, sa faca pe cineva fericit. Suntem uneori asa ocupati de "mine", incat uitam de "noi" si, mai grav, uitam de "tine". Nu conteaza daca eu te fac sa zambesti, conteaza daca tu ma faci sa zambesc. Si imi dau seama ca am cazut si eu in capcana asta uneori. Mai demult faceam surprize, faceam oamenii din jurul meu sa zambeasca fara un motiv anume. Acum mi-e greu sa fac asta. And this will change!

Mergand pe firul asta al filozofiei "Conteaza ce simti" - desi sunt sigura ca nu sunt, din nou, prima care s-a gandit la asta - mergand pe acest fir, deci, m-am hotarat ce vreau sa simt la sfarsitul anului 2009. Ce vreau sa fie diferit in mine. Si de aici sa imi dau seama ce fac pentru asta.

Intre timp am vazut si filmul Australia. Incredibil.
"Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be"

Same lyrics, different song

I'll try writing in English, to see what comes out of it.
I've been thinking, not these days, but for ever, I guess, about how incredibly similar we are.

How we live and dream so alike, how we love and get hurt and love again. How the words we say have already been said before, already been thought, felt, ignored, misjudged: "I love you", "I like you", "we are over", "it hurts", "I''m leaving".

I was thinking that our dreams for freedom, in any sense, physical or mental, are the same. That we all desire, more than anything, to feel free and just live. That leaving aside all the parties, holidays, cars, clothes, all we want is to feel loved while being ourselves.

I often look for stories of the people I see on the street. I imagine what they are thinking, where they are going, if they are happy and smile on the inside. I imagine stories for them and in all these stories I feel somehow attached to them, because in each of them there is a similitude to something I've felt, lived, missed.

Because everything we are has already been. It sounds sad and scary, but maybe it should not. This thought should make us more tolerant, unite us and make us see how incredibly beautiful the world is, that although we are pretty much the same, we are so unique. Our feelings, our experiences, our words, our thoughts may be the same. But what makes us so unique is the one combination of these things, one combination special for each of us. And we can learn so much from each other, if we just see this.

So today I am peaceful, for knowing that what I feel is something that was felt before. And that answers are there for me to find them. Still searching, still restless.

and the song - Jason Mraz - Please don't tell her :)

wallpaper

nici o melodie, nici un text, doar wallpaper-ul meu :)

Viva la vida

My life is getting back on track. Proiecte predate, ordine in camera, zambit frumos la bunici, cont de facebook :) Si urmeaza lucrurile mari.

De astazi in 6 luni implinesc 22 de ani.
It feels a lot, pentru ca simt ca vreau sa mai fac inca atat de multe. Si na, am timp, se zice, dar vreau sa am mai multa grija cum anume il folosesc.
So 2009 resolutions, coming right up:

- sa imi iau permisul de conducere
- sa merg cu bicicleta mai des - 1 data pe saptamana, cel putin primavara si vara
- sa incep un blog/ mail/ alta metoda tehnologica de a tine legatura cu my 2 best friends
- sa merg in vizita la frate-miu, in Amsterdam
- sa iau licenta cu bine
- sa incep sa scriu cartea pe care am promis ca o scriu
- sa las in urma o echipa eficienta si pasionata
- sa ma hotarasc si sa fiu multumita cu decizia luata: inca un an in Iasi sau... nu?
- sa urc pe munte, pana sus sus in varf, cu picioarele mele - si da, in ritmul meu :D
- sa citesc inca cel putin o carte clasica

rezolutiile astea sunt mai mult pentru urmatoarele 6 luni :) Well, adica pana la 22 de ani.
Toate panzele sus :D

Out is through

Cantecelul asta zice ca the only way out is through
Si o zice foarte bine.

Incerc sa ma ascund zilele astea. De toata lumea, pentru ca simt ca daca ma apuc sa vorbesc cu cineva, incep sa plang.
Insa de ce ar fi asta un lucru rau?

Poate tot ce avem nevoie sa facem, pentru a ne elibera de nesiguranta, esec, dezamagire, rusine, singuratate, este sa mergem prin sentimentele astea, cu capul sus, cu zambetul pe buze, cu oamenii dragi alaturi. In primul rand insa, cu noi insine alaturi.

Fa primul pas!
Incepe discutia aceea de care iti e frica.
Zambeste cand tot ce vrei sa faci e sa taci. Zambeste pentru ca va schimba cursul unor evenimente. Va schimba o cearta intr-o discutie. O tacere dureroasa intr-un moment emotionant.

Oamenii imi spun tot felul de lucruri. Ca sunt puternica sau ca ar trebui sa fiu mandra de mine. Insa la sfarsitul zilei, ceea ce conteaza este ce imi spun eu mie. Ce am facut eu pentru mine. Cum am invatat eu din ceea ce a fost, cum am trecut eu peste. Unde anume ma aflu. Unde imi doresc sa merg in continuare.

So, girlie, ia si impaca-te. Incepe cu tine. Impaca-te cu gandurile si dorintele si asteptarile tale. Se zice ca e un an nou, un bun prilej sa faci asta.
Impaca-te cu oamenii pe care i-ai indepartat pentru ca te iubesc. Si pentru ca pe ei nu ai vrea sa ii dezamagesti, de aia alegi sa te ascunzi.
Impaca-te cu oamenii carora le datorezi explicatii.
Impaca-te cu oamenii de la care astepti explicatii.
Impaca-te cu cei carora mai ai sa le spui lucruri, cei carora le datorezi cumva un multumesc.

Impaca-te cu deciziile luate, momentele petrecute, trecutul, viitorul. Impaca-te cu ziua de astazi si fa tot ce poti mai bine ca sa te impaci cu tine in fiecare zi.

It's time to start again. And the only way to do it is to walk through today.